Self-introduction email

Subject: Self-introduction email


Dear Professor Blackstone

I am writing this email in hopes that you will understand me better and improve my weaknesses in communication. My name is Lin Yi and I am currently an undergraduate studying civil engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). Prior to this, I graduated with a diploma in the same course at Singapore Polytechnic. I furthered my studies in the course as it is my way of giving back to society. Engineering in the modern world is no longer solely plan and build, we also improve the way people live and work. As such, I feel that communication is essential to achieve that. 

Different styles of communication are needed for different types of audiences. One of my strengths in communication would be adapting my communication style to the differing types of audiences. As a leader in my CCA in secondary school, I had to liaise with different groups of people. This skill allows me to maximize the impact and get my point across when communicating with them.

On the other hand, my biggest weakness would be being unconfident when communicating verbally. I get nervous and shutter whenever I am required to present in larger groups. However, I believe that with more practice, I would be able to improve on this. Additionally, I am also weak in terms of writing due to my poor grammar and limited vocabulary. 

At the end of this module, I hope to gain enough confidence to present in larger groups and be engaging. I would also like to develop and improve on my report writing skills as it will be useful during my journey in this course. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to learning more from you. 


With gratitude

Lin Yi


Revised on 9/4/21

Commented on: 

Kai Yee 

Nicholas 

Amos 






Comments

  1. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 21, 2021 at 6:53 PM

    Thanks much for posting your letter, Lin Yi. I look forward to reading it and also reading the comments of your peers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kai YeeJanuary 21, 2021 at 10:22 PM

    The whole email is quite complete, concise and courteous. But there are a few grammar mistakes along the way, “hopes” should be changed to “hope”.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lin YiJanuary 28, 2021 at 4:50 AM

      Thank you Kai Yee for pointing out my mistakes! I will take note and improve on them. Cheers!

      Delete
  3. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 24, 2021 at 12:37 AM

    Dear Lin Yi,

    Thank you for this brief introductory letter. It's fairly well presented and rather informative. Like Kai Yee has stated, it is concise and courteous. You do a good job succinctly stating what your comunication strength and weakness are. At the same time, I feel you could embellish this a bit by adding more concrete detail to your discussion. You might explain, for example, what CCA you led so tha we can better imagine the effort required of you. You could also give a more specific example of a presentation that you gave and how you weren't able to do as expected. Even in the section where you discuss your interest in engineering
    it would be good if you explained in more depth this sentence: "Engineering in the modern world is no longer solely plan and build, but we also improve the way people live and work."

    In short, I'd like to see you decorate your assertions with more specific supports.

    In terms of language use, there are a few issues to consider.

    1. clarity in words/phrasing
    -- in hopes > ?
    -- ...and improve my weaknesses in communication. > (inaccurate language use) ...and help me improve my communication.
    -- I get nervous and shutter.... > (spelling: check the dictionary) ?

    2. sentence structure
    -- Engineering in the modern world is no longer solely plan and build, we also improve the way people live and work. > (comma splice) ?

    I look forward to seeing how you can polish this letter.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lin YiJanuary 28, 2021 at 4:57 AM

      Dear Prof Brad,
      Thank you for pointing out my mistakes and enlightening me on how I can improve on my formal letter. I will take note of them and improve on my letter.

      Warmest Regards,
      Lin Yi

      Delete
  4. Jun JieFebruary 1, 2021 at 6:20 AM

    Hi Lin Yi,

    Thank you for introducing yourself. Glad to know that you are willing to give back to society with what you learnt.

    I noted some errors in your introduction, there are

    1. in hopes that you will understand --> hope?
    2. I am currently an undergraduate --> currently an undergraduate
    3. shutter? --> stutter (spelling error?)
    4. for taking the time --> for taking time

    Perhaps, these are the errors you can look at while amending your email
    1. repetitive words that have the same meaning
    2. spelling

    Other than that, it is alright.

    Hope this helps in amending the email

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lin YiFebruary 1, 2021 at 7:56 AM

      Hi Jun Jie,

      Thank you for taking time to read my letter and for pointing out my mistakes. I will take note and change them accordingly.

      Cheers
      Lin Yi

      Delete
  5. Darren HoFebruary 1, 2021 at 7:07 AM

    Hi Lin Yi,

    Your letter is complete, concise and courteous. It also let me to get to know you better as a person and also your willingness to give back to the society. Bravo !! However, the one thing I would like to point out is the second sentence in your first paragraph. Instead of using "Prior to this", you could also use "Before this". Other than that, your letter was well written.

    You can do it !

    Cheers,
    Darren

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lin YiFebruary 1, 2021 at 7:58 AM

      Hi Darren,

      I am glad you got to know me better through this letter! Thank you for your feedback, I will change them accordingly!

      Cheers
      Lin Yi

      Delete

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